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大倉 忠義 [userpic]
[Log] 2008-02-24 10.00pm
by 大倉 忠義 (tadakura)
at February 24th, 2008 (07:23 pm)

Characters: Ohkura Tadayoshi [POV]
Location: Rehearsal to Apartments
Rating: PG
Summary: Ohkura finds why Ryo has been ignoring him; the hard way
Warnings: ANGST


The number you're trying to reach is either busy or turned off. Please leave a message after the beep. *BEEP*"


"….Ryo? Well…"

Ohkura cleared his throat. Playing with the ends of his hair, he slowly fell down next to the wall. He was in his musical rehearses again. Something about redoing lines. Looking at the ceiling, he continued to talk again:

"Hey, where are you right now? I didn’t talk to you in a couple of days. Are you eating properly? Don’t say you forgot to eat again! I’ll get worried about you na?"

Wiping his eyes, his fingers were covered with a light layer of water. Ohkura blinked. This isn’t like him. A pressure started to build up in his throat.

"Well, I was surprised that you didn’t stay the other day….to tell the truth, I kind of miss your company."

The drummer gave out a wry laugh. How hard is it to talk to a person over the phone? Not much right? Plus, this was the voicemail, not the actual receiver.

"This is awkward now…I guess I’ll be going now. Call me back if you get this ok? Wait, don’t call me if you’re too tired. Go rest then ok?"

Giving out another wry laugh, he closed his eyes. "Well…got to go now….bye Ryo."

Ohkura hanged up the phone. Still staying slouched next to the wall, he threw his phone over to the wall. Something was wrong; he knew it. Ryo always stayed over when he came. He always did.


"Ohkura! Focus!" Before he could reply to that, he bumped into the nearby lights. A sound came out of him, signifying his pain. Frowning, he face palmed himself as he fell towards the floor. Looking up through his fingers, his eyes were lost in the vast white ceiling.

The crew members came running to him, he still didn’t have any reactions.


"Hey, its food." It was after work. Ohkura was feeling better now, He scolded himself as he walked out of the musical building for not concentrating on his work. Trying to cheer himself up, he ordered himself some ramen. The fact that that ramen store was near Ryo's apartment.The drummer didn't know why he drove that way. They lived in different directions.

Ohkura left the store without eating anything.


Parking his car in front of the apartment, he looked up to the floor where Ryo might be. "How did I get here?"Asking the question to himself, he tilted his head. "I thought I was in the ramen store...I guess not anymore.""What have I done? " Clenching the car keys in his hands, he dragged himself to the entrance of the apartment complex. His steps in the building echoed through the empty halls. Furrowing his eyebrows, Ohkura continued walking up the stairs.


"...It's really nice here."

Ohkura silently followed Ryo, walking side by side with him. His fingertips slightly touched Ryo's hands. He glanced at the contact but quickly, Ohkura looked away. At Ryo's mumbling, he nodded. "Sure is.."

Ryo been so distracted with the scenery around him that the touch on his hand surprised him. He snapped back to reality, glancing down at their hands. He smiled and looked ahead at the random playground toys in the park, purposely letting his hand brush against Ohkura's a few times before he gently threaded his fingers with Ohkura's, trying to look innocently away.

Feeling Ryo's hands being threaded into his hand, Ohkura blinked. He dared not to look at him. He tightening the bond between their hands, Closing his eyes, he lets himself smile. "Aren't you worried people are going to see us like this?" Whispering, Ohkura lightly brushes Ryo's shoulder.

Feeling the brush against his shoulder, Ryo shrugged and moved closer, leaning against him slightly, their shoulders pressing together. "

"Do you mind...?" Ryo asked, gesturing to their linked hands.

Ohkura held their hands tighter and shook his head. "No. Not at all."

The drummer thought about why holding hands with somebody makes people feel so warm inside. Is it because then, they would know that they would never be alone again? Or is it just because that the insane world still has a piece of love left?


Just thinking about that made Ohkura smile. He sincerely missed those days. Days where he had been with Ryo. The days where they would silently showed their love. Ok, not silently.

Looking at his hand that used to carressed Ryo's hair, he made a little prayer before he knocks on the nearly arrived door.



Ohkura froze on his spot. His arm that was already extended to knock on the door immediately dropped back to his side. Many things are going through his mind now and none of those had good intentions.

Biting his lips, he squinched his eyes before he raised his arms again. Knocking on the door, he waits for an answer.

"Ryo..I know you're there. I came by to visit you since I was in the neighborhood...." Taking a deep breath he struggled to continue his sentence. The noises from before were still distracted him. Grabbing his scarfs end, he starts to yank it.

"Open the door I---" Hearing a sudden loud thud, the drummer immediately stopped his knocking. He slowly backs away from the door, his yanked scarf falling down next to him. The sexual noises were haunting him more now. Ohkura couldn't take it anymore.

Starting to backup from the door, he stumbled several times before reaching the other side of the wall.

"No...no...I-I'm definitely hearing things. He's alone in there! Yes, he is." Giving excuses to himself, Ohkura shook his head continuesly. He knew he was lying to himself.

His scarf was spread out against the floor, leaving a trail from Ryo's door to where Ohkura is hiding now. He layed himself on the floor, using his jacket as a pillow. It was cold as hell outside but he didn't give a damn about it.

The window engraved in the wall, gave out a view to the night skies. Stars were sparking, illuminating against the moon. Ohkura stared at it, trying to pretend that he never heard anything. But everytime he closes his eyes, he can still hear the noises. Frustrated, he rolls over to his side.

"Shut the hell up...I don't want to hear you." Covering his ears, he slowly gets more irritated. "Shut up...go away..I don't want to hear you..stop with the damn moans...you lied...you said you'd never fuck anybody up but look what happened; you're fucking somebody up!"

Covering his ears even harder, his nails started to dig in his skin. Ignoring his pain, Ohkura sat up now leaning against the wall. Thinking back, he tried to figure if he did anything to Ryo to make him act towards this way. Ohkura knew Ryo keeps his words; his words of law that he always loved to hear and act accordingly to it.

"Was it the day I was with Yoko? Come to mention, Ryo came over didn't he? He didn't stay over.." Unconsciously, he touched his lips. A different feeling suddenly struck him, making him realize what happened on that day.

"I kissed Yoko. I thought he was Ryo. I yelled shit about him acting strange towards me....but in fact it was Yoko all along!" Getting up from his spot, Ohkura ran towards to the door, knocking on it again.

Before he could knock again though, he hears the horried sounds again. Falling down to his knees, his hand found its way to the door knoob. Whether its unlocked or not, he didn't want to know. Ohkura Tadayoshi didn't want to know anymore. Frankly, he doesn't want to know anything anymore.

Saying "I'm sorry" quietly over and over again, he banged his hand on the floor. He couldn't lie to himself anymore. Ryo's gone from his view.


Moments past by and Ohkura crawled back to where he was before; the window with the beautiful moon outside. He had no will to walk anymore. He had no will to do anything anymore.

Leaning himself on the wall, he looks up in the sky. "Take me. I don't want to be here anymore if it means I won't ever be able to see him smile anymore. If I can't feel his touches anymore...what reason should I have to be alive?"

Laughing, he lets his head rest in his hand. Feeling his heartbeat , he wondered how long it would beat. Closing his eyes, his breath stabilized slowly.

"I need your company Ryo...don't leave me." Mumbling these last words, Ohkura closes his eyes.